Monday, July 26, 2010

Pretentious Pasta Primavera

Dear Reader,

I know it has been quite sometime since I have posted anything, and I promise you, if I had remembered that the last thing I put on here were those DORKY photos of myself, I would have updated a lot sooner.  So here is something new to eat. 

Pretentious Pasta Primavera

You will need:

New Yorker tote bag
locally brewed beer
sustainably made shoes
nerd glasses
purple carrots
morel mushrooms
habanero peppers

Good morning Brooklyn!  Drink a Kombucha, throw on those Toms shoes, hop on your skateboard and scoot over to the food co-op, but not before telling everyone about your do-gooding on Twitter.  Try to make friends with Adrian Grenier during your shift.  Decide that he is a stuck-up poser when your advances are rejected.  After work, fill your tote bag with fiddleheads, ramps, romanesco, morel mushrooms and a super spicy habanero.

Once home, chop and saute all veggies in white wine and garlic while listening to Radiohead.  Invite friends to whom you feel superior over for dinner and a lesson on the rare vegetables you have foraged from the market.  They will appreciate it, and at the same time be forced to recognize your intelligence and superiority in all things.  Play for them new music that they may not have heard, being less clued in than you are.  Toss with pasta with veggies, sprinkle with cheese - not the cheese made from that lady's breast milk.  That was a disaster.  Chop habanero and mix with guest's pasta for chance to belittle their intolerance to spicy foods.  Serve with local beer while discussing Art, Artaud, Proust, Globalization, and whether or not the piano is a percussion instrument.  When guests are gone, remove needless nerd glasses and catch up on back episodes of Gossip Girl while drinking your secret stash of Zima.